Wade Long, Fathered Man

YOUNG ME

Present god-child count: 7

This is a bit unbelievable, to be real about it. These beautiful people range in age from under 2 months to 19 years old. (I sigh, as I deal with that whole 'being old enough to have a 19 year old godchild' thing.)
The eldest is the daughter of a friend I lost touch with years ago. I pray - not often enough, I feel - about her well being, the choices she makes, about the people in her life, about being reunited with her one day.
The youngest is a boy I see almost always. I steal every chance I get to whisper scriptures into his little ears. Call me what you will but I TRULY they believe they get deep into the fibers of his spirit.

I have no natural children of my own - yet. I joke (only a little) from time to time about my backwards way of refusing to have no kids until I marry.

My relationship with my own father - if you want to call it that - was interesting to say the least. Whenever he was around for the first years of my life he was great! The problem being "whenever he was around" only occurred once to twice a year, at most!

Not before too long he informed our family he was ill and would be passing on soon. It was then that he remembered me and decided to communicate with me regularly.  He and my mother had been separated for years and at 12, my mom left the choice up to me whether or not to allow the relationship to happen or not. ( No pressure there :/)

Long story short, I decided to communicate with my father, and to be strong with and for him.

Then he died.

I'm in my 30s now and I still feel the affects that years of fatherlessness must have had on me.  There are questions every day that I feel I need him for, as I struggle with allowing God to father me, along with the wonderful surrogate  "Pop" I have now.

On the godfathering end, I truly have no idea why these wonderful people keep choosing me to be the man who influences these kids and those God-parts of them so desperately needed. It was suggested by my youngest godchild's mom just yesterday that perhaps this is God's choice.  I honestly still have no reason why.

I just pray that something I say or do influences these dear people to do something fruitful with their lives, and if God so graciously blesses me someday with my own that I will have the courage to be man who I should be to them, and the father my seed so truly deserves.