Perhaps adding to the excitement was the fact that unlike most, this would be a Saturday where in lieu of my normal routine of Social Justice at the Oasis (which, by the way, I truly do adore) I would hang around all morning waiting on a utility person to come and perform some well needed maintenance on my apartment.
The good news is the utility person showed in the 3rd of the 10 hour time frame I was given for their expected arrival; which, in turn, left me to some long overdue "me time". Not "working on a new project time" or "calling to check up on an old friend" time, but straight up do nothing, defragment, and just be "me time".
As I sat there in my gray jogging pants, a white t-shirt, and a long neglected beard that would have made Grizzly Adams proud, my mind began to drift off, into the wonders of Never-never land.
Surprisingly, I found myself a family man. (Now before I continue I feel a need to break for a disclaimer: I'm not the guy who is afraid of commitment or who doesn't feel "ready" to settle down. That's not me at all. The truth is I would have loved to have married at a young age. Instead - an adulthood of chasing dreams and causes; ones which for me have remained paramount matters of precedence over the notion of any prospective love affair, coupled with a few social deficiencies and self-development issues I regrettably admit to - I have found myself 34 and somewhat comfortably single.)
And yesterday in my imaginative state, I saw myself; a future me, perhaps, desperately in love with the woman of my dreams. I saw picket fences, and a Labrador (I think I'll name him "Rusty" for the sake of this entry). My two kids - Melinda who was 7 and had her mother's sparkling eyes, along with her little brother Stephen who was no older than 6 and the spitting image of his father - were chasing Rusty around the yard.
The scene was so surreal it was like something from my own novel CITY OF HAMLETS Book One, the part in chapter one where I speak of Hamlet families "laughing carefree in the placidity of their nooks". For a moment, I was a hard working dad and a loving husband who toiled all week, inspired by visions of moments just like this one; the pot of gold at the end of a trying week's rainbow.
Lastly, I came back to myself. There I was again - single. Hard-working albeit; but unmarried and without children, all the same. I found myself once more, this time facing reality, and truthfully, somewhat relieved that I again, had the day to myself. But then I thought once more, if only for a moment; what if?
# # # WCL
